Thoughts.

This week is my last week of classes as an undergraduate student....wow. I want to take a few moments to reflect and document some of my thoughts during this last week. 

I am having conflicting emotions over this fact. On one hand I am SO over school and am SO ready to be done and move on to the next chapter of my life. But on the other hand I am not ready to be done and go out into the real "real world".

My college experience has been absolutely amazing. I have been blessed with getting to know and become roommates and best friends with three wonderful girls. I have learned so much about myself, I have grown in my faith and gained a deeper understanding and love for God. I have gained a greater appreciation for family and understand how important support from family means to a individual. I have been fortunate (yes, you read that correctly) to study, read, and write many papers that have expanded my knowledge. Despite my frequent complaints, I have been truly blessed with this experience.

I have tried very hard these past few weeks to enjoy every single experience as I approach graduation. I catch myself saying, "I am so ready to be done...I cannot wait to graduate!" I very quickly remind myself that once I am done with this semester, college is over..for good... no more. Really? Am I really ready for this? The truth is, I honestly do not know. The truth is, change is scary and I have a plan for what comes next but I don't know if that plan will unfold how I imagine it. I try not to worry though because I know that everything will be okay.

I think what I will miss the most and already miss is my friends. I live at home now and we all have gone in our separate directions already so, I already miss them so much. We have had so much fun (at least I think we have). Having a good group of friends is essential in college. Leaving home and starting a new life is challenging. While I was only 30 minutes away from home, it was still a challenge. Everything you ever thought to be true is challenged when you go to college. Not to mention trying to balance         studying, writing papers, working, getting enough sleep, and spending time with friends, college is so much fun but it is hard as well. These girls have gotten me through many difficult times and have helped make me the person I am today. Seriously, these girls are the BEST friends I have ever had. All three of them are beautiful inside and out. We always have the best time together and I love them all so much!

Christi- my faithful workout partner!

Ice skating fun 2013

My 20th birthday party!

my "roomie" forever

late night adventures!

beautiful Carrie

I could not have done any of this without my family. I was not prepared for college AT ALL. I thought I was but I had no idea. I remember the first time I had to write a research paper...I had no clue where to start or what to do. I was in the library at school and called my daddy in tears. He calmly walked me through the research process. My mama has always been and always will be available to calm me down when I am overwhelmed, she is the best encourgaer. My brother can always put a smile on my face, even when I want to cry. My maw maw, well she's my maw maw, does she have to do anything other than be herself to make me feel better? No, she doesn't. She is truly amazing, she gets me like no one else does and knows me better than I know myself. I cannot emphasize enough how much my family's unconditional love and support has meant to me along the way.

my crazy family

My maw maw- she's so pretty

I did come to college with a boyfriend and no it was not always easy but we both wanted it to work so we both made sacrifices to make it work. I love Aaron now more than I ever thought I would. We have been together since we were 16 and 15. I loved him in the beginning of our relationship as much as a 16 year old can love someone. Now we are 21 and 22 with much more maturity and a greater understanding of what love really means. I am so glad we both have changed for the better and that we have grown and matured together. He has given me more pep talks than I could count and always reminds me when I am overwhelmed with school work and want to give up that I am working towards a better future and that if I give up I won't achieve my goals. He always, always, always knows how make me laugh which is what I love most about him because I need to laugh in order to survive. I am so incredibly thankful for him!

check out that long hair on A!

thank The Lord for change!

Thinking about all of these experiences and these amazing people, I cannot believe that this is my life. My life is amazing and it is better than I ever thought it could be. No, my life is not perfect...by any means...but that's what makes it so good. I have experienced hurt, confusion, chaos, and sadness which makes me appreciate the laughter, beauty, and peace that much more. I would not trade any experience, good or bad, because where I'm at now is wonderful. I really don't want this time to end. Sometimes, I think I want to go back and do college all over again. These past four years have been some of the best years of my life. While I am ready to see what this next chapter holds I also want to experience this chapter for just a little while longer. So, while these next two-three weeks will be extremely overwhelming and stressful, I hope they drag by because despite how much I say I am ready,  I really am not quite ready to let this go.

....the best is yet to come....