General Life Update 2018
So, my life has always been somewhat crazy but the past year to year and a half has been a real whirlwind.
In August, before we got married I started attending Graduate School to become a School Psychologist. I was certain that this was the path that I needed to walk down. I loved what I was doing in the beginning, it was fun and exciting and I was getting to really help children. Late in the fall I started to feel overwhelmed. I started the semester working full time as a teacher, driving an hour and a half to school and back three times a week, and trying to be a newlywed. I cut back my hours at work so that I was working only part time thinking it would solve my problems but it didn't. I got sick that Christmas, like I normally do in the winter but somehow it seemed different than normal.
The spring semester started off well, I attended a conference in Columbia for free, which was exciting. However, things quickly went downhill I became even more stressed juggling school, work, and home life. I managed to maintain my grades and continued doing what was expected at work but I constantly felt in a fog and like I just didn't have my head on straight. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind. In mid April I began to get a cough, I was getting sick right in the midst of final papers and exams...wonderful! On April 26, Aaron's birthday I had to travel to school to take an oral exam that would determine my continuation of the program. I remember walking in the building and feeling like I could not breathe. I had a rescue inhaler that I had use about 3-4 times just that afternoon. I suffered through the interview and finally had to admit to my professors that I was sick. I passed with flying colors despite the fact that I thought I was dying.
I had planned for us to gout after my exam and do something fun for Aaron's birthday but I told him we had to go home that something was not right. We made it home and I still struggled to breathe. I called in the troops (My parents and good friend who is a nurse) they all came over to my house and we tried everything. Despite our efforts, we decided it was best to go to the ER. After a long wait, they finally took me back to a room and began to run a lot of tests. My oxygen levels were really low so they gave me oxygen and a bunch of medicine. I don't remember a whole lot in detail just because it all happened so fast and I was pretty sick. They finally admitted me and determined that I had an asthma attack that was triggered by anxiety and stress. I was given Xanax and cough medicine and was sent home that Friday. By Sunday night I was back in the ER only this time it was way worse, they sent me for more tests and an MRI and quickly gave me medicine to try to fix my breathing. After waiting all day in the ER, I was transported to a bigger hospital close by and admitted into the progressive care unit. The doctor came in that night and said a bunch of unusual and scary things that could be causing me to not be able to breathe. I was told that the next day I would see a pulmonologist who would diagnose me further. I met Dr. B the next day my FAVORITE. DOCTOR. EVER. Seriously I wish he could be my doctor for everything lol. He told me that I had a bad upper respiratory infection as well as a bad case of bronchitis and they hit me at the same time and basically knocked me out. He continue with steroids, oxygen, and an antibiotic as well as breathing treatments. I stayed for two more nights and was sent home with a very painful cracked rib from the violent coughing I had been doing for the past three weeks.
There is so much more to this story but I won't get into it here because the importance of this story was that I got so sick that I had to literally stop everything I was doing, no more taking care of my home, no more working, and no more schoolwork. I didn't sleep for nearly two weeks until I was admitted to the hospital because I was that sick! This was my first sign from God that I was doing too much and for all the wrong reasons.
I continued on with school and started my summer semester which was going to be double the time on the road. Right before I was supposed to start classes I got news that my Financial Aid wouldn't cover my Summer courses and I would owe $3,000 just for the first session! I did not have that kind of money just laying around. This was my second sign that I needed to stop, once again I didn't listen. We scrounged up the money and I was able to start classes on time. I still had that feeling that something wasn't right, deep down I knew what I needed to do I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
One day my mom was traveling with me to school. As we started I began to recount my sickness and time in the hospital and how I thought that God was trying to tell me to stop. I told her how I felt like a crazy person and that I couldn't get my feet on the ground. I told her how miserable I was in school and that I thought I needed to quit that God was telling me that this wasn't what I needed to do. As I was telling her this we were stopped in traffic, we sat for over thirty minutes just outside of our town. We looked at each other and she said to me, "Do you think this is a sign?" I responded "I fully believe God is telling me to stop, it could not be more clear." There was no way I would have made it to class on time that day traffic was not moving and I had already made up my mind that I would not be returning. This was a very difficult and costly decision to leave the program but very necessary.
Not only did I leave the program but I didn't have a job. I resigned from my teaching position at the end of the year because of an increase in hours at school and I was guaranteed a job on campus in the fall, which I no longer I had because I left the program. That summer was one of the hardest times of my life. I was at my lowest point during those months but I spent time talking with God and reading His Word. I knew He had a purpose for me and I knew that I was being obedient so I knew that something good would come, I just didn't know when.
I applied for at least thirty jobs but did not get any of them, I was so frustrated and didn't understand what God was trying to do, didn't he understand that I needed a job and Aaron and I were starting to run out of money? Of course He did but there was something important that He needed me to walk through. I decided that I would apply to be Substitute teacher in our School System. On the first day of school I went to my mom's school to help a new teacher on her first day. That day I got call from a friend telling me that a local business was hiring and they wanted to talk to me. I was offered a job that day and was asked to start the next day. I didn't hesitate for one second! Praise the Lord. I have been working there for five months and while it is not my dream job or even in my field, it was an answered prayer and I am thankful.
In August, before we got married I started attending Graduate School to become a School Psychologist. I was certain that this was the path that I needed to walk down. I loved what I was doing in the beginning, it was fun and exciting and I was getting to really help children. Late in the fall I started to feel overwhelmed. I started the semester working full time as a teacher, driving an hour and a half to school and back three times a week, and trying to be a newlywed. I cut back my hours at work so that I was working only part time thinking it would solve my problems but it didn't. I got sick that Christmas, like I normally do in the winter but somehow it seemed different than normal.
The spring semester started off well, I attended a conference in Columbia for free, which was exciting. However, things quickly went downhill I became even more stressed juggling school, work, and home life. I managed to maintain my grades and continued doing what was expected at work but I constantly felt in a fog and like I just didn't have my head on straight. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind. In mid April I began to get a cough, I was getting sick right in the midst of final papers and exams...wonderful! On April 26, Aaron's birthday I had to travel to school to take an oral exam that would determine my continuation of the program. I remember walking in the building and feeling like I could not breathe. I had a rescue inhaler that I had use about 3-4 times just that afternoon. I suffered through the interview and finally had to admit to my professors that I was sick. I passed with flying colors despite the fact that I thought I was dying.
I had planned for us to gout after my exam and do something fun for Aaron's birthday but I told him we had to go home that something was not right. We made it home and I still struggled to breathe. I called in the troops (My parents and good friend who is a nurse) they all came over to my house and we tried everything. Despite our efforts, we decided it was best to go to the ER. After a long wait, they finally took me back to a room and began to run a lot of tests. My oxygen levels were really low so they gave me oxygen and a bunch of medicine. I don't remember a whole lot in detail just because it all happened so fast and I was pretty sick. They finally admitted me and determined that I had an asthma attack that was triggered by anxiety and stress. I was given Xanax and cough medicine and was sent home that Friday. By Sunday night I was back in the ER only this time it was way worse, they sent me for more tests and an MRI and quickly gave me medicine to try to fix my breathing. After waiting all day in the ER, I was transported to a bigger hospital close by and admitted into the progressive care unit. The doctor came in that night and said a bunch of unusual and scary things that could be causing me to not be able to breathe. I was told that the next day I would see a pulmonologist who would diagnose me further. I met Dr. B the next day my FAVORITE. DOCTOR. EVER. Seriously I wish he could be my doctor for everything lol. He told me that I had a bad upper respiratory infection as well as a bad case of bronchitis and they hit me at the same time and basically knocked me out. He continue with steroids, oxygen, and an antibiotic as well as breathing treatments. I stayed for two more nights and was sent home with a very painful cracked rib from the violent coughing I had been doing for the past three weeks.
There is so much more to this story but I won't get into it here because the importance of this story was that I got so sick that I had to literally stop everything I was doing, no more taking care of my home, no more working, and no more schoolwork. I didn't sleep for nearly two weeks until I was admitted to the hospital because I was that sick! This was my first sign from God that I was doing too much and for all the wrong reasons.
I continued on with school and started my summer semester which was going to be double the time on the road. Right before I was supposed to start classes I got news that my Financial Aid wouldn't cover my Summer courses and I would owe $3,000 just for the first session! I did not have that kind of money just laying around. This was my second sign that I needed to stop, once again I didn't listen. We scrounged up the money and I was able to start classes on time. I still had that feeling that something wasn't right, deep down I knew what I needed to do I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
One day my mom was traveling with me to school. As we started I began to recount my sickness and time in the hospital and how I thought that God was trying to tell me to stop. I told her how I felt like a crazy person and that I couldn't get my feet on the ground. I told her how miserable I was in school and that I thought I needed to quit that God was telling me that this wasn't what I needed to do. As I was telling her this we were stopped in traffic, we sat for over thirty minutes just outside of our town. We looked at each other and she said to me, "Do you think this is a sign?" I responded "I fully believe God is telling me to stop, it could not be more clear." There was no way I would have made it to class on time that day traffic was not moving and I had already made up my mind that I would not be returning. This was a very difficult and costly decision to leave the program but very necessary.
Not only did I leave the program but I didn't have a job. I resigned from my teaching position at the end of the year because of an increase in hours at school and I was guaranteed a job on campus in the fall, which I no longer I had because I left the program. That summer was one of the hardest times of my life. I was at my lowest point during those months but I spent time talking with God and reading His Word. I knew He had a purpose for me and I knew that I was being obedient so I knew that something good would come, I just didn't know when.
I applied for at least thirty jobs but did not get any of them, I was so frustrated and didn't understand what God was trying to do, didn't he understand that I needed a job and Aaron and I were starting to run out of money? Of course He did but there was something important that He needed me to walk through. I decided that I would apply to be Substitute teacher in our School System. On the first day of school I went to my mom's school to help a new teacher on her first day. That day I got call from a friend telling me that a local business was hiring and they wanted to talk to me. I was offered a job that day and was asked to start the next day. I didn't hesitate for one second! Praise the Lord. I have been working there for five months and while it is not my dream job or even in my field, it was an answered prayer and I am thankful.
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