DayDreaming Diva

One of the ways that the enemy tries to pull me away from Jesus is through anxiety and negativity. I have struggled with anxiety for the greater portion of my life but it really reared its nasty, ugly head when I was pregnant with my son. I was so anxious and depressed that I developed habits that caused me to not recognize myself. I struggled with anxious, intrusive thoughts that continued after he was born. I tried so diligently to recover the woman I was before. I remember talking with precious jewel of a woman who, looking back, has not been constant in my life but God has always placed her with me at such important and formative moments. She spoke with me on a hot summer day about a year after Eli was born about how precious pregnancy and motherhood truly was. I am not good at quoting so forgive me but she spoke words that went something like "this time is such a gift from God and I truly became closer to Him because I was so amazed at what He was doing". I remember bein

Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed by the chaos that is motherhood. The screaming teething baby, the four year old who has all of the questions, the floor that needs to be mopped AGAIN…I whisk myself away into this lie of thinking “If I could only have the quiet back…”. What a lie...   I am a self proclaimed introvert. I love being by myself. I enjoy the quiet.  I  like not having the pressure to “perform” for anyone. I have always preferred nights on the couch, by myself with a bowl of pasta and a good movie rather than going out and being with people. So motherhood for me, especially lately, has been overwhelming... to say the least. But oh man has it brought me closer to my Jesus.   Since September we, as a family of four, have been hit with one sickness after another. RSV, Flu, ear infections, unknown viruses, more ear infections, and the latest being COVID. We have been faced with some difficult decisions as a result of that sickness and through prayer and relying on The Lord we hav